Sorrows and Sunsets
by dutchtulips
Summary: episode 3 fic. amidala takes a lonely walk in the palace garden as her painful memories of anakin flood her mind. then someone finds her...


Sorrows and Sunsets

by ~queen of hearts~

disclaimer: I wish! SW=GL.

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AN~ i don't know if snapdragons, cosmos, zinnias, or honey locust trees can be found growing on Naboo or not, but - what can i do? call it artistic license, i guess.

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Sorrows and Sunsets

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by ~queen of hearts~

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The sun was slipping under the horizon, after its smooth settle to the west. Bands of navy, gold, and pink skewed across the purpling sky. Dusk had been falling for a little while now, and the skies were just beginning to darken.

The setting sun sent an orange haze over Theed, bathing every building. It finally reached Queen Amidala's palace, peaking in through her window.

But Amidala wasn't at her balcony watching the beautiful sunset with anyone. She wasn't on the balcony. She wasn't even watching it at all. Amidala was in the same place she had been all day: her bed.

The silken sheets were tangled and in disarray. Amidala lay across the messy bed, her facial expression blank. Even for a sleeping person, that sorrow filled look was still frozen on her face. As if there were nothing left for her.

The windows were open a crack and they brought a warm, yet strong, breeze into the room. It brushed across Amidala, slightly ruffling her long chestnut hair and the silk sheets on her bed.

Amidala stirred from the breeze, then her eyelashes fluttered open. In her sleeping position she was facing the window, watching the chiffon curtains dance in the wind.

Another gust pulled the window open further and Amidala decided to get up and close it. Still in her nightgown she'd worn to bed the night before, Amidala pulled herself to a sitting position and slid out from under the covers and dropped her feet to the floor.

She passed her mirror on the way to the window, which caused Amidala to stop and stare. She studied her reflection for a long time, as if she were trying to figure out who the woman in her mirror was. As Amidala took in her haggard appearance, it caused her thoughts to drift to the reason for it. Then her face seemed to crumple, and then Amidala's hands flew to her face, not wanting to look at herself anymore.

After a long, silent moment of just standing there, Amidala remembered the window and forced herself away from the mirror and to the real reason she'd got out of bed. Not to look at herself and stew her thoughts over the things she'd been trying to make sense of for weeks already. Not to search desperately for answers and leave her screaming in the dark. Merely, just to close the window.

Looking down upon Theed caused other feelings to wash over Amidala. Really just flashes, visions. Things that she taken in other times and had brought her happy, cheerful feelings.

But they were bittersweet now. None of Amidala's good, happy memories would ease her. Rather, they just made things worse. In reality, anyway, she hadn't any good memories left. What happy ones she did have were slowly and painfully contaminated with darkness, leaving her nothing. Nothingness. The things, happenings, -person, more like- that had been subject and reason for her good memories -were gone. Was gone.

The tranquil evening gave Amidala a sense of lightness she didn't really feel, but nevertheless, she decided to get out of bed. Amidala had spent enough time there already. Days. Weeks, even. As she looked out her window another minute longer, she decided to go for a walk in the palace garden.

Amidala took her shawl out of the closet and pulled it on over her lilac satin nightgown. Then she walked out of her room, descended downstairs and outside.

Blooming snapdragons, cosmos, and zinnias were scattered all about as Amidala slowly walked down the flagstone path that winded in and out of the flower beds. The path circled around a tall honey locust tree which stood in the middle of the vast garden. Amidala plucked a pink cosmo from the grass and brushed it up against her cheek as she approached the tree, her heart climbing into her throat.

Her memories of her times with Anakin in the garden flooded through her. How they sat under this very tree and held each other close. How he had proposed to her under it.

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Maybe coming down here was a mistake, Amidala thought as she stared at the honey locust tree, tears welling up in her eyes. Looking at it brought the memories searing through her. With them, they brought pain. The tree and the garden had always had a special place in Amidala's heart. They did...because of Anakin.

As she slowly fell to a sitting position under the tree, Amidala let the tears stream freely down her cheeks. She buried her face in her shawl, letting the repercussion of her grief soak into it.

As Amidala sat, bursting at the seams in sadness, a man stepped into the garden and followed the path to the honey locust tree where she was curled up and crying.

Amidala, occupied with her grief, never heard the man's footsteps. She didn't even know he was in the garden at all until, suddenly, he was there, in front of her.

His shadow cascaded over Amidala, causing her to be more aware of the man's presence. Her sobs subdued and she was quiet for a moment as she rose her gaze upward at him.

Obi-Wan Kenobi could no longer watch this woman before him sit in her misery alone. He moved closer a few steps and kneeled down under the tree, putting himself at Amidala's level.

Her brown eyes gazed into his sea green ones for a long time. Silently, words, thoughts, and emotions passed between them, all in that one stare. Amidala's grief and Obi-Wan's understanding went through it as well, and her eyes softened as she sensed the words of comfort he was silently saying.

Amidala suddenly through her arms around Ob-Wan, giving him an impulsive hug. And as the two friends sat in the warmth of each other's embrace, feeling the awful pain that they had been day after day, a dim glow of hope illuminated. They understood each other's grief without having to say any words. They had that embrace to feel comfort in.

Amidala let out a long tired breath as she let her body relax against Obi-Wan as she lay in his embrace. Although it wasn't the same way and for the same reasons Anakin had, Amidala had someone to hold her under the honey locust tree again.

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el fin

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